The 4th Trimester- Life with a Newborn

Turns out, taking care of a new baby makes finding time to write about taking care of a new baby pretty hard. But, if you’re reading this, I’ve successfully kept the tiny human alive for seven months and finally gotten this blog post published!

First, I feel compelled to share how amazing motherhood is. It is truly one of the biggest blessings life has to offer.

There are a lot of things about it that I knew I would love—his giggle fits, watching him learn, baby bow-ties. But there are endless instances of joy and appreciation my son brings that I did not anticipate—witnessing the effects of his smile when directed at grandparents in grocery stores, seeing him bring out the soft side in tough guys, the power of his innocence against all darkness.

A piece of recurring parenting advice I received when I was pregnant was that every child is different, and most of parenting is just figuring it out as you go. While, overall, I agree, I still think there is significant power in moms sharing solutions with each other. So, here are a few notes I have on the first few months after birth—appropriately referred to by some as “the fourth trimester”.

Keeping Your “Me”

Thanks to my husband, I was reminded early on to take time for me.

I found that joining a moms group was essential. For me, a fitness group killed two birds with one stone—getting back in shape and finding my tribe.

Staying active in a group that knew me “pre-mom” was helpful too. It felt very natural and easy to slip into my new identity as Luke’s mom, but it was imperative for my happiness to also keep my identity as David’s wife, Mary’s daughter, a writer, an entrepreneur, a friend.

Keeping my sense of self strong helped me feel closer to the balance I think we are all trying to achieve as mothers in 2019.

Breastfeeding

Wowza. This is not an easy job. Hands down the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. First of all, mama, whatever you decide you want to do is the right decision for you. Do not let any waves rock your boat on this. There are so many women, myself included, who agonized over the stigmas surrounding feeding your baby. Ultimately, it is your decision and just like a lot of things in motherhood, your intuition will lead you.

With that being said, I was excited to try it with Luke. A lot of the advice I had been given prior to birth was related to getting past the first few weeks. Across the board, I was warned that this time period is rough. And it was. I relied on my husband a lot for emotional support and some unexpected physical support. It was beautiful to grow and nurture my boy from the 7 lb infant he was to a growing, strong baby. And it was so beautiful to see the pounds going on him.

With THAT being said, there were a lot of complications. Most a little too graphic for me to share on the inter-webs, so I’ll just leave you ladies with a few products that helped me while I was breastfeeding:

Nipple cream
Hands free bra
Easier flow flanges
Nipple cooling pads

Feeding, Swaddling, and Jaundice

I am unbelievably grateful for the healthy birth experience that Luke and I had. My heart aches for parents and babies that spend their first days together in the NICU. The strength it must take to overcome those challenging moments attests to the power of the fierce love parents have for their children.

With that in mind, it is hard to complain about the small problems we did face after birth. Nonetheless, I hope by sharing them I may help other mamas get through those days a little easier. Less time googling means more time snuggling baby!

How much food does a new baby need?

The hospital we delivered in had a big sign posted in our room, reading “feed on demand”. We had a baby that rarely cried. It seemed all Luke wanted to do during his first hours in the world was sleep. As brand-new parents, we weren’t sure how much babies of that age normally eat. It seemed like he was never “demanding” food. The first night we all slept 6 hours without waking for a feed—and no one said anything about it.

After getting out of the hospital and visiting the pediatrician, we learned he needed to be eating way more. Like every 2 hours more. Our pediatrician helped us get on a feeding plan that gave us direction on how much he should be eating during a feeding session and how often. Looking back, I wish I’d been proactive and had that plan from the get-go. When you’re checking out pediatricians in the third trimester, I would definitely ask about this.

We found this Baby Tracker – Newborn Feeding, Diaper, Sleep Log app really useful for tracking feedings in those first very sleepy weeks.

How do you swaddle a baby?

We actually had practiced swaddling on a teddy bear before Luke was born, but I wish I had watched like 25 more YouTube videos. You will be doing a lot of swaddling in the beginning, and wrapping up that little baby burrito is harder than it looks!

Why does baby’s skin look yellow?

Let out a deep breath if baby shows signs of jaundice, mama, because this is very normal.

This article by KidsHealth from Nemours does a great job explaining jaundice, “a common condition in newborns, referring to the yellow color of the skin and whites of the eyes that happens when there is too much bilirubin in the blood.”

The worst part of Luke’s jaundice was when he had to have blood drawn from his foot to test his bilirubin count. But, thankfully, like most cases of jaundice, the levels were never high enough to require medical intervention.

Getting through the “fourth trimester” is no joke, but you got this mama. Night times may be testing, but mornings will always have a little extra sunshine now—that’s for sure.